Paint

I haven't written in a while for a number of reasons. Mostly because I don't write here when my husband's around. My husband likes to remind me that he's not meant to be my therapist, and as such, he doesn't need to hear what I went through in all its grueling detail...

I'm trying to decide where to go next. Sometimes, something's screaming to get out, but right now, a few voices are competing for the top of my mind...

A few nights ago, I had this thought. When my baby was born, I realized that we needed to repaint the nursery because there were garish designs of cartoon characters on the walls. My husband painted three layers over the designs. I asked him the other night whether we could strip off the paint, and whether the cartoon characters would still be there. Of course, he said it was possible. So I think. If we strip off the woman I've become - the mother, the wife, the writer, the friend - I'm still what I was under that. I'm still a scared girl with her shoes missing. I'm still the person whose life spun so out of control that she can't even name all of her sexual partners, and isn't even sure she'd recognize all of them by face.

So how do you strip those layers away?
I don't want them anymore.

PS Aunt Flo showed up.